Can you imagine who you are if you dropped all your old stories?
Are you ready to let go of your stories; all those things you tell yourself happened to you?
Who are you when you release your sotries and how do you feel?
By old stories I mean are those that no longer serve you and are well worn out. Perhaps you are a victim in them, treated unfairly, there is some abuse, power struggle etc.
Challenges can truely help makes us who we are yet there also comes a time to let go of and relase the old stories. It is good to let go.
When one is lost in old stories one is lost in ego, in a sperate identity possibly of some sort of victim. Each story you carry attaches you to some version of yourself, some character you play in that story. A story can be told a thousand ways and seen from a thousand different persepctives. Old stories that keep getting retold about soemthing that happened or isn't fair, either your own or someone else's, can really get tiring! Just think about it a moment and you may agree?
You don't have to give up any story, but what I'm inviting you to do is ask yourself what story are you hanging on to that you'd actually like to drop completely?
Can you name it out loud?
I have one that comes to mind and I am dropping it completely. I'm no longer going to repreat the same old words, phrases 'I'm no good at.... blah blah blah blah!'
I'm done with it, and am so happy to realise it's not true and that I can release it. Time to drop it!
Next time someone asks you about something, rather than go into the usual tale/ story, you might like to pause a few moments, breathe and see what new words arise. Life, breath, words, thoughts are delivered to us moment by moment. Allowing each moment to be birthed anew gifts us rich, abundanct, propoerous, fun and creative connections.
Here are two meditations I deveoped many years ago as a matter of survival!
They also help me feel more free, clear, happy and in peace, not to mention harmonious and unattached to stories!
They may not be for everyone, but they have helped me and may just help you.
Peace be with you love child of the universe X.
Purpose: Feel more harmony with life
Why: Breathing harmoniously for 10 minutes will bring more harmony into your life. Easy and it works!
Focus on a certain area such as health, home, work, finances, how you look, etc. for 21 breaths plus, to bring more harmony into these specific areas of your life. This exercise will shift the mind out of the ‘story’ it is playing and into the present moment where you are everything and nothing and all is possible. The crystalline grid around you alters with your breath and feelings, and this will then affect a different reality to open up in front of you. In a way a death occurs, a death of a thought pattern you’ve been stuck in and the death of the story you’ve been carrying around with you. This could be a story that has gone on all your life, (e.g. ‘my bad skin’ can be calmed by breathing harmoniously while pondering good skin, bad skin ,regular skin and giving thanks for your lovely skin!) or even may go generations back as you may observe how your parents also carried a story. Are you ready to let it go? Likewise it could be something that’s just popped up in your day and this meditation equally has the power to transform a ‘bad day’ into ‘good day’.
- Start with The Quick Power Breath Meditation to oxygenate the body and clear the mind. Use the stomach muscles as a pump to exhale and inhale 21 rapid breaths:
- Push all air out of lungs by pushing stomach muscles and spine in towards each other
- Inhale by pushing out stomach muscles and lower back away from spine (outwards away from each other)
- Exhale and inhale rapidly for 2 minutes or as long is comfortable. If this is your first time to try this, 5 breaths may be enough to begin with. Stop if feel dizzy and just add a few breaths to it each time you repeat the meditation.
- Take five quick deeper breaths observing long pauses in-between breaths to help the body and shift the mind.
- Tune into the feeling of harmony in your stomach muscles and lower back. As you breathe feel the muscles moving out and in harmoniously, like gentle waves in the water. Stay with the muscles moving in and out harmoniously as you breath. Go at your natural speed of breathing with constant awareness of the stomach muscles moving harmoniously. Do this for 5 minutes while not thinking of anything of anything specific but just focusing on the harmonious movement of the stomach muscles and back.
- Bring to mind anything which may have been upsetting you. Continue breathing harmoniously while you ponder this and give thanks for it and. This will take focus but increase harmony in your day and whatever area of life you were focusing upon.
- Well done.
Gautama Buddha, also known as Siddhārtha Gautama, or simply the Buddha, was a sage on whose teachings Buddhism was founded. He is believed to have lived and taught mostly in eastern India sometime between the fourth and sixth centuries BCE.
The word Buddha means "awakened one" or "the enlightened one." According to Buddha, attachment is the cause of all suffering. Attachment can be towards anything such as how we think things should be, or for sensual satisfaction, for things such as food, money, fear, youthful looks, thought patterns, sadness, bitterness, certain people… It’s also a strategy of the monkey mind to keep one busy and distracted. If you find yourself spending your time longing for things or running away from thing (addictions and aversions) know that this is the monkey innocent mind at work and not your ‘true’ state of being. When one is lost in stories one is lost in ego. Can you imagine who you are if you dropped all your stories?
The main things we attach to are:
- Stories: This happened to me, and they they did this and I did that…
- People: Can be letting go of an ex, old firend, someone who has died/ left the body. Includes over attachment to epople in your life, children, paretns, partners etc. Allow always for there to be white light and space between you, between you and those youmiss, find challenging and love.
- Things: What you don’t have you don’t need right now. Let go of what you no longer need, honour the folow of life, releasing that which you no longer need or feel called to give to others. Enter an abudnance mindset where an opporutnity for everything you require is generously presented itlsef to you.
- Places: Yes some are very dear to us. But we must let go of everything in order to be here. Holding onto wanting to be somewhere else, prevents you from really landing and embodying this moment fully. And this is very much part of our purpose; to embody this moment fully…and see what arises!
The following exercise to help you let go of attachment, and thus feel happier and more able to experience and enjoy the present moment.
- For 10 harmonious breaths, observe the stomach muscles move in towards the spine as you exhale and extend outwards as you inhale.
- Tune into the feeling of delight. Inhale and exhale the feeling for 21 breaths, pausing in between each breath to focus upon the feeling of delight.
- Tune into the space around you. Exhale light into the space around you and inhale from the space light from the space into your body for 21 breaths; on each exhale expand the light so that in 21 breaths it fills the space and even neighbourhood you are in.
- Open your palm and call in your attachment. Ask it to appear in symbolic form on the palm of your hand. Talk to it:
- Ask it what it’s purpose is
- Ask it why there is disharmony between you and it
- Ask what it would like and what its insight/gift is
- If it feels right, feel unconditional love for it, accepting it fully, connecting you and it as one.
- When completed, hug it, give thanks for it and watch it dissolve.
- For specific issues, you can also try the following exercise:
- For an attachment to food: Imagine your last meal and your next meal. Now tune into and imagine the space in between the two meals, be in this space. Accept this feeling. There may be a bit of panic, but breathe harmoniously in this space and it will harmonise you to the peace in between meals.
- For an attachment to money or fear of not having money,
- Tune into the space between your last money payment and your next.
- Imagine all the possible ways money or whatever you need could come to you.
- Breathe peacefully and harmoniously in this space as your energy system relaxes and quietens. Be still in the space of accepting where you are while welcoming in what is on the way.
- For an attachment to exercise or lack of exercise, tune into the space in between your last moment of exercise and your next, breathe calmly in the space in between.
- For an attachment to other people or nights out, tune into the last great night out you enjoyed or the last time you enjoyed someone’s company, and the possible next one. Now be in the space between these two events and breathe calmly and harmoniously. Basically accept where you are!
- For an attachment to beauty; tune into the last time you felt beautiful and now imagine the next time. Accept being in the space between this and the next time.
- You get the idea; adapt this for anything else that comes to mind. Ask yourself, what else am I attached to that would benefit from this exercise? See the last time, the next time and be in the white light inbetween the two. Breathe harmoniously until the energy calms.
- Check in with the body, that it is feeling more realxed, at ease and at peace.
- Well done!
Thank you for sharing your time here and reading. Remember:
It's okay to let go of old stories and,
Meet this moment a fresh.
Recognise your attachments,
Learn the insight they offer and,
Let them go.
Let's breathe 3 breaths harmoniously right now.
Sending love to your heart, soul and world!
Love you! X
The Soul's Goals is about attuning to your inner guidance and the journey that takes place from here.
On this day expect to:
- Gain insights from the past year.
- See the breakthroughs you've experienced and listen to others.
- Gain clarity with the highest version of yourself and recieve visions of your higher path through 2019.
- Choose the changes or sacrafices you might you be excited to make to align with your higher self.
- Connect with the group to share, align with and hold the greatest vision you can for yourself and this planet.
- This is an auspicious and poserful day for making great spiritual progress.
In addition, on this day we will be joined by the gifted light language artist Delphia An Ra who will is coming from the Netherlands to join us! Delphia will support the day with her presence including two light language activations to begin and complete the day. https://www.delphiaanra.org
Have you recieved a harmonious feeling vision that you would love to see occur?
Are you ready to activate this into your reality?
Would you like to open up to receive visions for your higher path from your higher self?
This work nurtures delight, intuition, inner guidance, self-esteem, satisfaction and success.
It pays greatly to take time out to relfect where we are at, envision where we are heading, and who we are becoming.
This is your day. It is time.
Numbers are limited so please book in advance.
Includes workbook material, sharing, lunch, chats and as well as time to sit/ meditate/ walk in nature and welcome inspiration.
Cost is between €69 and €88 depending on what feels right to you and what you can afford. Everyone who is curious or this resonates with, is welcome. No previous experience necessary. Simply secure your place through paying a deposit and come along on the day.
You are welcome to pay your deposit here to secure your place http://orlaphelan.com/product/59-the-souls-goals
Location: Tulfarris, Blessington, Co. Wicklow.
Feel free to drop a line if you have any queries.
Looking forward to seeing you on the day.
Thank you Orla, I really enjoyed the souls goals... love and light.'
'Hey thanks for yesterday, it was fun and when I went to bed I felt such a huge energy flow through me for hours!'
Just did a course of the soul's goals, with Orla Phelan I highly recommened it.' G.B.
'Just wanted to say thank you soooooooo much to Orla and all who participated in yesterday's Soul Goal Day event. Wow what a wonderfully inspiring and overall lovely event, not to mention the gorgeous wholesome food! Yum ! I am so grateful to have been a part of it and for the opportunity to meet so many wonderful, kind hearted and loving people, I hold u all dear to my heart!! Thanks again x x' O.P.
'Thank you for a most wonderful and enlightening day.
Call it synchronicity but I have been learning and teaching The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People since 1992, just short of 25 years and still learning from the 72 minute CD. I never ventured into the 7th habit "Sharpen the Saw" until the start of January. It is about looking after self body, mind and spirit... Definitely synchronicity. The time out to think and question with six people who actually have common and specific areas to address is Synergy in action (6th Habit). Thank You for bringing "Acceptance" which is the start and I do believe when you start the finish will come, as night follows day.Yours Sincerely' P.T.
For more info on the Soul's goals: http://orlaphelan.com/your-soul-s-goal/about
Numbers are limited so please book in advance.
Includes workbook material, sharing, chats as well as time to sit/ meditate/ walk in nature and welcome inspiration. Please feel free to extend this invite any fiends you think may be interested.
A €39 deposit secures your space, with the rest payable on the day. You can either pay your €39 deposit here http://orlaphelan.com/product/59-the-souls-goals or fully upfront using the donate button on the home page www.orlaphelan.com, a bank transfer or cash.
I look forward to meeting you and to working together,
A bit about Orla:
Hi, I entered the world of meditation, energy healing, wellbeing and facilitating workshops in 2003. The Soul's Goals was created as a way to tune into inner guidance and live each day with greater satisfaction and fuilfillemt. It has become the model I continue to live happier moer fulfilling days by for over seven years and it is my delight to share this approach with you.
'Orla is so talented in so many aspects of her life and in particular to helping you find you true soul's goal. I have done various souls courses with Orla and always found them brilliant. I myself was trying to find my calling in my career path and with the help of Soul's Goals I found my true north. I can't put into words how much that has meant to me and I am so grateful for Orla and her Soul's Goals course for helping me find it. If you want to change life into the right direction, well the Soul's Goals is it.' C.S
1. Strict parasite diet: No dairy, sugar, wheat, fruit, honey, potatoes, white rice. Simply eating, vegetables, brown rice, quinoa, raw nuts... see here for more!
2. Take the herbs as prescribed by Dr Hulda Clark. 1 pack = 3 weeks daily plus 3 weeks taking once a week. If one has more parasites they may require 3 -6 months maybe even 9 of cleansing, that is taking, herbs and following diet. Link here for more
3. A Terminator Zapper can also help clear the body of parasites and is particularly effective as a longterm wellbeing support aid. For more info follow this link!
If one has a deeper issue with parasites I would recommend considering cleansing for 3 months and check in with them every 3 weeks, to see how person is and perhaps add something else into or alter the programme if required.
In addition to the above, it is important that the body alkalises and has regular bowel movements. Super greens in powder or tablet format taken 2 -3 times a day will help alkalise and depending on the person, if they require help with bowel movements, something like Magnesium ( in various forms including oxide) taken with dinner may help.
Long-term one may consider cleansing every 6 - 12 months as an on going health maintenance. I recommend a cleanse every 6 months and love the energy this gives.
Sessions are available in person and via Skype if you are interested and I can post cleanses, zappers etc to anywhere in the world!
May you be well and stay well!
Peace and love,
For inner calm, peace, stability and feeling well! Recorded on this day of the blood moon 27 July 2018 and lunar eclipse to help us align with the light and gifts of this time.
Hi Friends, this is a summary or the video as it was too long to upload! The 'Thank you for the Blessing' part starts at about 3 minutes 50 seconds in- jump straight in if you wish, the pre is a warm up with some gentle breathing.
The energies can be considered quite intense right now. Breathing calmly, deeply and giving thanks is more than powerful enough way to align with the blessings and expanding light that is being offered. Stay well friends and thank you for watching! This may not be for everyone but it works for me! May you enjoy too! Please subscribe!
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/orlaphelanli... (give us a like for up to date post of wellbeing, healing, cleansing and meditation)
Fancy 21 days with no sugar, fruit, wheat, dairy, yeast, fresh mushrooms, white potatoes, white rice and honey!?
I did! Well mostly I fancied giving my body, mind and spirit some loving care and attention, a boost, and this is how we rolled :) I took the Dr Hulda Clark Parasite Cleanse along with a restricted diet. I usually do this twice a year and it never disappoints, rather it appoints you to an even better place! I had enough of ice cream and was excited to see what would happen. Below is a video taken on 12th June 2018- Day 13 of the cleanse.
Here is what I am eating! Plenty of fresh organic vegetables, especially spinach, avocados, cucumber, brown rice, vegan/ goats cheese, mungbean noodles, raw nuts and wonderful creative new recipes !
Supplements: Dr Hulda Clark protocol cleanse herbs, Wormwood, Cloves and Black Walnut Hull Tincture. Additional amino acids; Arginine during the day gives you 4 hours of extra energy, use in place of coffee/ sugar for an extra boost of physical energy whenever you need it. Also cleanses toxins from body. Ornithine at night time for great sleep, deep restoration and rejuvenation. Gets body to produce human growth hormone, cleanses the body of toxins from parasites and helps you sleep like a happy baby. What's not to love here!?
Thanks for watching!
Do you know what Human Design type you are?
We all know about birth charts, horoscopes and astrology, both western and vedic. When calculated these can provide us with amazing insights into our character, challenges and opportunities.
How about your human design though, have you yet come across this?
The basics of human design are:
FOUR TYPES OF HUMAN BEINGS AND THEIR STRATEGY
The Human Design System groups people into 4 specific types:
Manifestors, Generators, Projectors and Reflectors.
The main difference between each type is in their aura. Although there are endless variations within each type (and within our genetics), each type has a specific auric quality that determines its strategy - a correct way of approaching and navigating life.
Manifestors are a minority - around 8% of all people. You are the only type that is here to initiate.
Almost 70 % of all people are Generators. If you have a defined Sacral center, then no matter how the rest of your chart looks, you are one of them. Generators are the great workers of the world.
If you are a Projector (22 % of population), you are not here to work. You are here to know others, to recognize and guide them. But that can only happen if you yourself are 1) recognized and 2) invited to do so.
Reflectors make up only about 1 % of the population. If you have all your centers open, you are a Reflector. You are completely open to the world and others.
The strategy of each type is very simple, yet it may be not be easy to put into practice at first. Manifestors, who feel controlled by others all their life, need to inform. Generators, who have oceans of energy, can't just go around doing anything - they need to wait and respond. Projectors, who can see others and are here to guide them, need to wait for an invitation - something they never expect to happen. And Reflectors, with their openness and taking in other people's definition, must wait 29 days before making a major decision - no matter how certain they feel about something in the moment.
Information here is kindly from http://humandesign.net/basic-concepts.html
Find out your type!
Click here! http://humandesignamerica.com/chart
The more we know ourselves, the more conscious and empowered we are. Of course you do not need to believe it, just see what resonates with you.
By the way I am a 6/2 Projector.
These aspects of Projector and 6/2 are very appropriate for I:
- Learning about boundaries and saying no strongly and peacefully.
- Being alone time essential.
- Waiting for invitation to share.
- We magnify energy and need to be by ourselves or with the right people and right environment.
- Being the authentic self above all else and comfortable with being different.
- Not to work full time ( even though I kinda do I mix it between a few jobs I love and work my own hours- essential!).
- Here to play and express the joy the divine! Yes, explains a lot when you see me on the dance floor or at kirtan!
I would love to hear your type and what parts really resonate with you.
Much love <3
Cleanse time again!
Have you been considering a cleanse?
It is October and time for me to return to one of my favourite practices- cleansing! Twice a year I cleanse to boost my entire wellbeing. It involves taking special herbs as well following as a special diet. The basis of this is removing sugar, honey, fruit, wheat, dairy(cow), white rice, caffeine, potatoes, fresh mushrooms and yeast, as these things bring down the immune system and feed parasites. It is natural for us to be host to a whole load of bacteria, viruses, fungi and parasites, both health enriching and depleting. The whole approach of taking herbs and following the special food guidelines; cleanses out the bad boys, boosts the good ones and gives the whole body and mind good energy and greatly supports general health and wellbieng.
So what can you eat!? Well, plenty! Consider, avocado on spelt bread, hummus, olives, cucumber and spinach on ryvita, roasted sweet potatoes with fresh salad and chickpea burgers, porridge, raw almonds, falafel and so much more, as well as eggs, chicken, meant, and fish if you so like.
A cleanse clears many bugs and parasites boosting the immune system and general health. Parasites are linked to many autoimmune system health issues as well as skin issues, digestive issues and especially tiredness. People can lose 80 % of their energy to these pesty invaders!
Imagine going from living off 20% of your energy to 100%- thats 5 times more energy. Can you imagine!? How much easier it would be to get out of bed, go for a run/ walk, smile going to work, enjoy time with the kids?…
Each time I cleanse, I sleep about an hour less and after 2-3 weeks have much more energy. It also clears the body from reliance on refined sugars and caffeine for energy and resets the whole energy system as well as gives one’s digestive system, skin and energy a beautiful healthy boost. You'll find this is an emtional cleanse as well as a physical, mental and spiritual clearing.
Interested in finding out more?
The first time I cleansed was for over 2 years and then twice yearly thereafter for well over 10 years. It has always occurred too that when I cleanse, something not so nice leaves my life and something lovely enters ! This I put down to the increase in vibration and wellbeing that occurs from this practice. A cleanse takes at least 3 weeks and it is recommended one usually cleanse for 3 -6 weeks, though if one has health issues, it be for longer such as 3 -6 months. Each person is unique as is their healing.
You can purchase a cleanse from this website and if you request it we will also send you via email a list of foods and meal ideas that you can enjoy on the cleanse.
Good luck! May the clease bring out the best in you!
Wishing you better health than you can imagine! Ps. What would that look like?
There have been immense changes taking place over the past 8 weeks energetcially.
Look back, can you see somet themes and insights?
See if you can name 3?
Name them and bank them so you don't need to repeat those learnings again!
Mine include and revolve mostly around stepping up my awareness and choice in being of service.
Of service to the cosmic heart, the same light life force that exists in teh heart of all being. Serving this light expanded my awareness into greater clarity and love. Aum.
This journey into serving God, and I am sorry to say that word because it can be so misconstrued but I am using it because I do believe there is a kind force of light in this universe that connects, harmonises and holds everything and that we as beings have this energy as our centre and are love. As we come home to ourselves we come home to love, and to this light. It feels easy, peaceful, expansive, safe and even joyous regularly enough! It 's NOT something to be chased but that just arises with greater clarity as we take responsibilty for ourselves and pursue our path of service, whatever that is and however that looks for each individual.
WE have great scope at present to jump. There is a mgic bridge being built over this eclipse and it's not about listing off your wants incuding that red lambourgini, but rahter just being in your centre and present in your environment and home. See what links are offered to you. There is great scope when we WORK TOGETHER. WE help each other and achieve even greater outcomes this way. See where TEAM comes up for you, where you say hey, et's do this togeehr and see what happens... feel open and allow yourself to offer and put ideas out there with those around you.
I heard a lovely idea being shared yesterday, that when Krishna whose birthday was on Wednesday just gone, when as a child he defeated many demons. They say now that we do not have many demons but rather the demon mentality (greed, abuse etc) that poeple are clearing... but anyway when he did kill them, a demigod usually came out of the demon that had gotten lost/ confused/ chosen badly at some stage and thorugh killing the demon the demi god got liberated and could go back to teh light and love! This makes me smile, just think of anyone who irritaes you etc and imagine there is a beautiful being in there being liberated (and of course relates to us and any behaviours/ etc we may have!) ;)
The divine power is awakening in us and uniting us for the greater good, and it's a really cool trip.
You probbly already have and I encourage you (myself included!) to step up our practices be it praying, reading inspiring words, meditation, yoga, making food for others, being a mum, breathing, being in nature...
Today am sending love to all beings on this planet and beyond. Shall we do this together?
Us and them is disolving into the sacred light in all beings.
In service & like you, made of Love,
Everyone is a star. Everyone is a hero. The heroic version of yourself is inside you and it is awakening. It sits in the heart and is aligned with love. It awakens to love and to service. When you seek to awaken the heart be it your own or that of others, you will realize that there is one sacred heart that can be found in all beings. There is one sacred heart, and yet you and each person has their own colour and personality and unique gifts to offer to this world via the sacred heart. The liberated beautiful and brilliant self is one that is aware of the sacred heart. We also call this the inner hero and quite wonderfully, this is who you truly are!
Harmony exists in the now in every moment, and can be tapped into at any time regardless of what is going on. Next time you find yourself experiencing a challenge, ask yourself,
“Where is the harmony now?”
Feel for it and allow it to guide you. Harmony is a healthy focus and a super guide. Sometimes one can feel it but is too lazy or busy to go with it. Discovering and moving with your own internal rhythm and timing is central to exploring and experiencing harmony.
Being in harmony with yourself; you speak truth, love easily and exist peacefully.
The dominant vibration one holds is how one feels and what one attracts, i.e. if one breathes harmoniously, one will automatically feel more harmony and circumstances will occur more harmoniously in their life. In this modern, busy world, harmony is definitely more a choice than something one accidentally falls into.
When one feels stuck in life it is often due to their inner GPS being set to drama, sadness, anger, self-pity or a myriad of other unhelpful vibrations!. Try shifting your central core feeling to harmony today and see how your day unfolds. Focus on it strongly for a few minutes to really conenct with it then continue with your day. When you remember, take 3 harmonious breaths in a row.
One has the power to alter one’s vibration at any time. By focusing upon harmonious breathing, one accepts what is as is and one’s reality alters.
Many people especially those who regularly meditate are able to alter their vibration at will. The feelings you focus on in meditation will be reflected back to you throughout the day, in this case, harmony will be reflected back to you through harmonious feelings and experiences. A worth enough reason to focus upon it for 3 minutes+!
The more harmonious the breath, the more harmonious you’ll feel and regardless of reality, you'll perceive it from a more harmonious place.
Questions that can help to favourably open up the mind:
I wonder how today will go if it is delightful from this minute onwards to the second I fall asleep?
I wonder how tomorrow would be if I wake up feeling delight, have an amazing, satisfying and delightful day, and then fall to sleep feeling delight?
Often asking this question heralds a wave of joy for the day ahead and following days ahead!
The master and leader of your destiny is arising within you. You are a master, awakening as a veil of illusion is evaporating.
You can observe yourself more clearly and realise how powerful you are in creating your reality.
What if life is a self-fulfilling prophecy and you are the one prophesizing!?
This is worth some serious consideration. What do you ponder? Imagine? Self-prophesize? Bring harmony in and see what that tells you and delivers.
In this new paradigm, we take the perspective that there are no problems. Anything that used to be considered a problem is now an opportunity. List here any old problems (left column) that are now being seen as opportunities (right column). This can help one release old patterns and shift to delight!
Problem – What are you running away from?
Opportunity –Seeing harmony in it and realising the gift of the situation
C'est ca! Even just one thing- one 'issue!' Bring it into harmony now- and return to it throughout the next few days. Nice One!
“Imagination should be used, not to escape reality but to create it” Colin Wilson